17 Different Types Of Boobs

All the boobs in all the world come in many different types:

…baps, bazookas, bristols or jugs, whatever it is you call your dirty pillows, breasts have always been a source of fascination for both men and women alike.

Long before they are ever used for their biologically intended purposes, breasts are usually high on the list of assets in a woman’s perception of her body image, and often relate to how sexually desirable she may feel.

Given today’s extreme emphasis on physical appearances, many women are off for the hack and sack fill to pump up those puppies. The ability to change your boobs from what you were naturally dished out, to whatever you can dream up, leaves the flood gate wide open. It may be a case of being careful what you wish for”¦

17 Different Types Of Boobs

There may well have been a time where I wished for larger, fuller funbags, especially after having recently issued a cease and desist order to my youngest child. I had had enough breastfeeding. While my mammaries have never been massive, I now have less than what I started with. Where once I may have had peaches, I now have pancakes. At least they don’t look down, if you know what I mean.

1. The Uni-Boob

A boob job gone wrong where they sit so close together you don’t know where one ends and the other begins. Or one might have their well-endowed super soft jubblies jammed into an ill-fitting bandeau causing a singular mass of mammary.

Activewear bra’s often makes our boobalicious babes look uni-boob like!

Image result for uniboob
via extra.cz

2. The Dream Peaches

Naturally pert, full, not big but not too small, well-rounded lady lumps perched with pride upon the ribcage. The dream boobs that we all desire.. sigh…


3. Round Melons

Pert, very full, very round. A larger version of Peaches. The optimal breast type for motorboating. Giant milk monsters!

shutterstock 1 | Stay at Home Mum.com.au

via nypost.com

Kind of bulbous coming off the chest with an elongated areola. Resembling a lemon shape, these norks often point outwards.

19fehuyrb23nljpg | Stay at Home Mum.com.au
via thekitchn.com


5. Banana Boobs

Strap on your skis, this is one slippery dip! A long tubular boob with an upturned end makes the perfect platform to perform a Lincoln Loop 180.

giphy 2 2 | Stay at Home Mum.com.au
via tenor.com

A peek-a-boo of the exposed flesh at the side of the breast. Not a type of boob exactly – but a glimpse of the lady lumps from the side.

boobs | Stay at Home Mum
via lushstories.com

7. The Pointer Sisters

Unsure whether they are coming or going, these hooters are pointing off into different directions. After-market boobs often have this problem!

boobs | Stay at Home Mum
via tenor.com

8. The consciously uncoupled

Falsies set so far apart you could park a freight train between them.


9. The Train Wreck

A boob job botched so badly you can’t not look. Should be on Botched.

Image result for bad boob job
via dailymail.co.uk

10. The Bee Stings

Teeny tiny tata’s beneath an itty bitty nipple. Fried eggs.

via dreamstime.com

11. The Pamela

Hard, round, shiny, semi-spherical stuck on silicone tits. Like two half-oranges.

boobs | Stay at Home Mum
via upsize.ph

12. The Glass Cutters

With nipples so sharp, they could cut bohemian crystal, one must be careful not to take out an eye.

via giphy
via imgur.com


13. The Footy Socks

Emaciated and long, these bad boys must be rolled up and repositioned from where they were once pert. These are often the remaining boob after a long stint of breastfeeding.


14. The Pit Pillows

These boobs reside in the armpit. They have to be wrestled out of there Croc Dundee style to be wrangled into a brassier.

via tougherthantwomurs.com
via tougherthantwomurs.com

15. Waywards

Like a compass that points to true north, these often pendulous breasts are hardwired to be directed toward the ground, whether you’re on your side, the other side, up high, down low, too slow, they’ll just roll around the place trying to level with the horizon.

demi lovato31 | Stay at Home Mum.com.au
via theshoppingtrend.com

16. The Widow Makers

Boobs so large you could get lost in the cleavage. The only time you’ll ever be seen again is on the side of a Crime Stoppers milk carton captioned, ‘Have you seen this missing person?’

boobs | Stay at Home Mum
via breakingentertainmentnews.wordpress.com

17. Moobs

Gynecomastia is the enlargement of male breast tissue frequently caused by a hormonal imbalance often brought on by poor diet and excess alcohol consumption. Ditch the booze to lose the moobs!services 13 | Stay at Home Mum.com.au

via thetrendspotter.net

More reading about Boobs:

Thankfully, we’re all creatures with different features, with boobs to suit every mood.

17 Different Types Of Boobs | Stay at Home Mum

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